manscaping

tonight my parents suggested that i trim off a little bit of my bountiful arm hair in order to appear less gorilla-like. so i trimmed the left arm just fine (im right handed) and then my mom kindly offered to do my right arm for me. my dad suggested we use his electric razor and just skim the top off of my o-so-sexy arm hair. my mom got really into it and then i hear a zzzzzZZZZZ. no now my arms appear relatively normal except for a few bald spots and corn rows. it is so hot, i just might post a picture.

conference te...

conference tennis match today and i and the team won. the weirdest thing happened - i was playing and my memory totally erased. i had no idea who was serving or what the score was. i gave the balls to her (even though it was my serve), and was eventually convinced that it was really my serve and that it was not deuce but 15 all. it was like i was sleeping and then suddenly woke up and was on the court with no idea what was happening. im hoping that this is some kind of sign of dehydration instead of early onset alzeimers, ebola, or syphillis.

my...

my internet has been broken but now it is finally fixed - but that is probably obvious because this is an internet post. anyways, after a few days my mom said, "you know, maybe that orange cord that i accidentaly dug up in the yard had something to do with your internet." and it did! so now its all better. it has been a trememdously long week. sims 2 came put in wednesday - i have been waiting for this godsend for more than a year. i can only play it after i finish my homework (usually around 10:00), but atleast it is finally here. pep rally today was pretty fun and strange as usual. highlights:- ben reicher dipping his entire face in whipped cream- homecoming video- watching the field hockey team make fools out of themselves (their skit involved laying on top of each other and ...well thats it)for the tennis video i was featured in about 90% of it beacause i was the only one that would let michael sarnoski film me play, but its okay because i was totally hot in it. - conference meet tomorrow and im really nervous because i have to play a girl that always cheats when i play her. coach is out of town though so atleast he won't be yelling at me every set. really hot new student from poland named steven. (but he is really south african). he is in my AP chem class so even though he is way smarter than me i still "help" him with his homework occasionally. i dont really think he understands much of what i say but thats ok.my horoscope:your love is dead, but dead love is not like a dead person. All the car batteries, radioactive injections, and monkey extract in the world won't bring it back.

aaaaaaaa!intern...

aaaaaaaa!internet at home brokeni know everyone must be extremely upset without regular updates from me so i shall fix it soon.

(too much tennis)*4

big tennis tournament today and yesterday. there were 16 teams, so everyone was at a different site. i lost my first match to the intense dissappointment of my coach but won the backdraw. 8 hours of tennis in 2 days was a little much, and i feel really weird now. in other news...watched blow last night (because of johnny of course) and it was pretty good. i am now trying to delay my inevitable homework. my horoscope:you'll be questioned by authorities and charged with criminal incompetence after a man you suposedly taught to fish dies of starvation.english paper snippet (about images vs. reality)- "the image i project to other people drastically differs from my true personality. I think many strange things that i do not say out loud for fear of not being accepted. For example, everytime i see a baby, i get a mental of shotputting the baby into a pool of jello. (it would land safely of course)."out,Kristy

the inter...

the internet aggrees with me!Are you cool or do you suck?IceYou're the coolest. You're so cool you could freeze a person from across the room.Click Here to Take This QuizBrought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

vegetable art

here is the vegetable head from digital art classfeast your eyes on this sex icon (made in my likeness of course)

labor day

just got back from my lakehouse and had a really fun time. finally landed a 180 on my wakeboard, went tubing with ryan and now the tops of my feet are bruised but in a good way. there were 3 especially exciting occurances...1.) went to see the mystery light. (its just this light that is over this dirt road and no one knows where it comes from). my friend sam and i walked towards it for awhile and discovered these weird people camped out in the woods watching the light and they were OBSESSED with it, which was kind of creepy.2.) one night we all went to the dairy maid. there is this crazy guy that hangs out there every night and sings fake kareoke (sp?), and he went up to sam and ted and started singing a very skewed version of puff the magic dragon, so the rest of us drove away and left them there with him for a few minutes.3.) there was a bat loose in the cabin but it hid and no one could find it. my dad's friend suggested that everyone paint their faces black with charcoal and turn off all the lights, so we did. my mom put on some of her yogi chant music and everyone lay down in the living room to scan the ceiling for the bat. of course we didn't find it- but we found some of its poop which i guess is just as good.

fuzzy thoughts

today was good. won the tennis match, ran three miles, and made a giant creepy face out of vegetables on the computer in digital art class. (picture coming later) this weekend i am going to my lakehouse with my friend laura and her family.so i was thinking about school and i had the following overly-optimistic thoughts- i am already 2/172ths of the way through the year. that is 1.16 percent completely done! i just have to do this about 86 more times, and anyone can count to 86 fairly quickly.- i have less school days than i do free days per year.- only about half of my school day is actual learning, so i am really 2.32 percent done with real classes.- i have several very exciting things coming up this year (visiting LA, the sims 2 on september 17, johnny depp in willy wonka, getting a new dog in spring, canadian boxing day) which will make me happy during a percent of my real classes because i will be thinking about them. so i am really about 2.6 percent done with the school year. i just have to repeat the past 2 days less than 50 times, which is completely doable.

SCHOOL

first daiye of school! so depressing...- morning: we had to gather in the courtyard and listen to the prefect's cheesy speeches about respect. memorable quote: "although we can't form the words, 'living happily together' out of the word, 'respect', we can still respect each other and live happily together."then we had to go to classes but only for 20 minutes-all my classes seem fine except for AP US and pre calc-H. in precalc, my lang opened his speech by saying, "most of you will probably fail the first few tests and this will most definitely be the hardest course yet of your entire school career." this was not very heartening. also in AP US mr wend went on for like five minutes about the, "incredibly enormousley immense amount of reading." he then told us there were ways to get around the reading but didn't tell us what they were.-also, i am in weightlifting class with about 20 jerky freshman boys, but thats ok because its only every other daiye.- then, the juniors went out to the field after lunch for some good old fashioned respect building. most awkward moment: we had to play a game in advising groups where everyone had a toothpick in their mouth and we had to pass a lifesaver around the circle using only the toothpics. it was so horrible so i just got about six inches away from the person's face, "accidentaly" dropped the lifesaver, and then picked it up and gave it to them.out

last da...

last day of freedom! so sad. i finished my summer reading and at the end of the chemistry reading (about the history of alchemy) there was a series of questions such as this, "how much more mass does the nucleus of an oxygen atom have than the nucleus of a hydrogen atom". my answer to this ridiculously hard question is 4 1/2. i just hope i dont have to show my work. this year is going to be great. -had lunch with ethan and had a haircut this morning. i look absolutely the same, but atleast it made my mom happy.- i saw city of god last night. i didn't realize that the whole thing was in portuguese when i rented it, but it worked out because i am very fast at learning new languages. it was really interesting but kind of disturbing. out

cant touch this

i recently learned how to put on pictures, so here is a collection of completely useless pics i took. it was late and i was tired...god im hotthe year round christmas treewhere i am sitting right now my chapped finger - its really the skin in between my fingerslast but not least, the toenail clip

i'll mini your tola

had a tennis match today. afterwards, went out with nick. we went to the beach + climbed on rocks, played frisbee, mallwalked, and looked at maps at barnes and noble. also, i am officially HOME ALONE FOR THE WEEKEND and i couldn't be happier. while my family is on a sea-sickness inducing ferry across lake michigan at 5:00 tomorrow morning, i shall be sleeping safely in my bed for another six hours or so.emily: as promised, some nick picsnicknicknicka liger (lion/tiger)

JACK FAIRY VELV...

JACK FAIRY VELVET GOLDMINE ~ WHO ARE YOU? brought to you by Quizilla

strike while the iron is hot

todayis the daythatMY LICENCE RESTRICTIONS ARE OFF!!!yes, it's true. i shall no longer live under the cloud of fear of being pulled over when i have more than 1 unrelated person in my car. i feel so FREE.in other, less exciting news: last night my dad put my pillow in his sweaty armpits. (we often sabotage each other's beds with nail clippings, crumbled chips, and things of that sort). i went to bed several hours later and had completely forgotten about this incident. as a result, i slept with my cheek pressed against my dad-s armpit sweat the entire night. also, went to lunch with ethan today. it was fun because i haven't seen him for almost the entire summer. then we went to buy books at school. yay!! needless to say, bookbuying was the highlight of my week. (but not really because i was being sarcastic)

cat taught not to sleep in wok

just got back from taking david school shopping. we went to noodles for lunch, and he told me that if he was a girl he would marry orlando bloom. what great taste!my onion horoscope:an attempt to popularize the book-length homilies of Laura Ingalls Wilder will result in professional wrestling's strangest phase yet.

test

seeing if the picture will work

passerbys were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood...

today proved to be very eventful. i took tyler to a parent child tennis tournament this morning and we lost because i was scared to hit hard at the little kids and grandpas we ended up playing. Then, tyler and i played badmitten in the driveway for awhile. this afternoon, we went to irish fest. at irish fest, we saw a professional tug of war tournament (the qualifyers for the world championships in minnesota), an irish dog show (i don't know how it was irish), irish dancers, a bagpipe parade (jane - you would have loved it), and a really old man wearing a purse. also, i saw several hundred rugged, kilt wearing men with knifes in their socks. it was a beautiful thing.

tennis

tennis tournament today in Green Bay. had to get up at 6 to catch the bus at school. i won my first two matches and lost the third, took second overall. the team won overall. my first match was against the girl i made cry at last year's sectionals, so it was really satisfying to beat her again, although she didn't cry again and i was kind of hoping she would. i played for about six total hours, so now i am a tired sunburned mess, and i think i have an ingrown toenail. trust me, it's hot.

daisuke

went shopping in Chicago with my mom yesterday and got some new clothes to update my already incredibly hip wardrobe. we also accidentaly hung out in a big and tall ethnic clothing store. i started watching the olympics today. among my favorite events have been equestrian 3 day dressage and the modern pentathalon. my horoscope: investigators will say your death was caused by shoddily wired bathroom lighting, but that is just wishful thinking since you're standing right there.

dad's letters

Krissy-We have had so many wonderful family moments since you left. Love,DadKirstie-I'm afraid I won't be able to pick you up upon your return toChicago. I just scheduled a haircut for that day. Please save some money fora taxi. Love, DadKassie-This morning was beautiful so we had our family picture taken forthis year's Christmas Card. It turned out great--our best yet! Love,DadKatie-I thought it important to inform you that we have moved since yourdeparture for England. Sorry, but our new address will be provided only ona "need -to-know" basis. ---With forced affection, DadMisty-Your family here has inquired as to whether you can extend youroverseas trip longer. A lot Longer. ---Your assumed biological father, TomParksKrystal-I did not think of you at all yesterday and your name never oncecame up in any family conversations.--Disinterestedly yours, T.P.Kylie-I love Tyler and David so much!--Signed, Tyler and David's Dad

today's onion poll

WHAT'S THE ONLY FLAW IN OUR INGENIOUS PLAN???18% - boiling point at 30,000 feet several degrees lower25% - extra guard dog posted, brought only three hypodermic needles22% - vicar failed to take evening tea23% - that crafty fox made of sterner stuff than we anticipated12% - spouse found out about it

i am the best

i had my sports physical today, and the woman said i had to get a blood test. so i told her to sign my sheet first before the test and i would walk down to the lab myself after the appointment. after she signed the permission slip, i ran out and drove home. i am officially proud of myself.

asdfasdfasdf

got back from cambridge. it was so much fun. i don't feel like writing everything here so just ask me about it. also, pictures coming soon.

this wee...

this weekend was awesome. I went to my lakehouse in the U.P. of Michigan. I am still a little paranoid because I found six ticks on my clothes once after walking through the woods. None of them attached, but every time i have an itch i feel like it is a tick. the water was 48 degrees but my brothers and I went tubing anyway. i never thought i would be warm again. biked to cedarburg today but forgot my money so i couldn't buy any food there. i am SO ready for English even though i have only studied for like 2 hours.

i just want...

i just wanted to see what the horny logo looked like

1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says: Que herencia cultural refleja la obra del artista mexicano2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first? my printer 3: What is the last thing you watched on TV? simpsons4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is: 8:005: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time? 8:236: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? the ringing in my ears7: When did you last step outside? What were you doing? playing in a soccer game8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at? my spanish project9: What are you wearing? leopard print sweatpants, grey t-shirt10: Did you dream last night? i have no idea11: When did you last laugh? when i read the newest "onion" 5 minutes ago12: What is on the walls of the room you are in? Red Hot Chili peppers poster, my calendar, painting, bulltein board13: Seen anything weird lately? albino midget (no offense to albino midgets)14: What do you think of this quiz? OK15: What is the last film you saw? Troy16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first? Tree house17: Tell me something about you that I don't know.- i want to be in the peace corps and i REALLY want a word that rhymes with orange18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? no animal cruelty19: Do you like to dance? Yes20: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? Katie21: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? Kai22: Would you ever consider living abroad? I wouldn't consider living HERE23: Will you pass on this survey? No